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Sunday, April 12th, 2009
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9:15 am - A Thought To Ponder Once More...
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In 2004, I posted an article on Easter Thursday detailing the plans that a friend and I had in place to, erm, 'celebrate' the holiday. Here it is, posted on Easter in its entirety for the sixth time annually.
Amidst all the celebratory Easter gunfire and the ritualistic consumption by tiny children of outrageous amounts of sugar and other confections, I have noticed a disturbing image. While the religious implications of Easter are undeniable and profound, the main point for even some semi-religious people has become bunnies, eggs, and ducklings. This, however, should be deemed common knowledge, and as such will be discussed no further.
The point that I am making is much more chilling. I have discovered a hidden meaning to the Easter holiday.
The whole connection between Lent and Easter is mainly dietary, obviously...I mean, probably three quarters of people give up some kind of food for Lent. However, on Easter they eat heartily of all those naughty food-stuffs like chocolate and malt balls.
Which brings me to the main topic. For I have determined, after much study and deliberation (in other words, it hit me as I was sitting here performing this delicious yet despicable act myself), that Easter, apart from serving as an annual Christian milestone, is solely devoted to the promotion of rabbit eating.
Yes, you heard me right. While I have no qualms about shooting a rabbit in rabbit season and eating it, the look on those toddlers faces as they, in one fell swoop, take the head clear off of their 24-pound chocolate bunny is simply bone-chilling. Frankly, I can't believe I never noticed this before. It's as if the Pagan tradition of rabbits and the Catholic symbolism of the end of Lent have culminated in some sort of strange twilight zone in which rabbits are brutalized (out of season, I might add) by the very people that love beauty and innocence...much like they love their mommies.
I believe that I will be setting up a task force to find all of the surviving chocolate rabbits, and save them from this most horrible fate by setting them free in the wilderness, so we can kill them when they are legal.
I will be setting up this task force this week, with a sign up sheet in the cafeteria. Unlike most task forces, however, I only have room for about six people. We will collect as many chocolate rabbits that we can afford, and then film ourselves releasing them.
I might add that if they do not take to the wild easily, we will be sacrificing our dignity and eating them ourselves in the gentlest way possible, so as to protect them from the 'partial eating' torture so common among these pre-school killers.
With that, I leave you with no poem, because I am simply too tired to write one, but we can say that it's because I did such a good job on the preceding essay. Thank you.
-Chupes
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| Thursday, January 1st, 2009
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7:44 pm - This is the Song I Write...
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Here it is, another year. Nothing's different, nothing's really new...I just don't understand this holiday or people's insistence on celebrating it. This year I decided that since I've been awake for 360 out of 364 midnights thusfar in the year, I may as well make it an even 5 that I'd slept through...never have I had that much fun on New Year's Eve. I think I'll celebrate like this every year.
It does bother me a little bit that I wasn't invited anywhere to do anything fun, but really the roads were bad enough that I wouldn't have been able to go anyway. It also bothers me that I went into town today and just couldn't find anything to occupy my time, so I ended up just coming home. Now its 8 PM, I've been awake for 12 hours, and I'd like to go do something, but between shitty roads and a lack of...well, a lack of friends, I'll most likely spend the night with my laptop. Again.
I consider it kind of depressing that even when I don't have to work and its a normal time of day on a weekday there's no one around to spend time with. I just don't know what I'm still doing here...I mean, I had myself fooled into thinking I was staying for a while because I don't want to lose the ability to hang out with the friends that I do have here, but in all honesty that's something that THEY almost certainly wouldn't miss nearly as much as I would and that's a sad commentary on my social status.
Between the holiday season with a girl who isn't anywhere near me geographically and a winter that seems only to snow when I feel like driving somewhere, I haven't had much of a life as of late. I can't wait to move somewhere warmer, but how the hell do I decide where that'll be, exactly? I have options, but London isn't that much warmer than here (which would be a plus because winter fashion is much more fun than that of summer) and Texas is just too damn...Texas. California will most likely chew me up and spit me out. I just feel stuck, as I have for quite a while in this area. the difference is that now I have nothing to be here for.
My writing has come to a virtual stand-still, I can't seem to get enough time on my bass to make any progress, I'm always tired and bored, I hate my job, I usually can't find the music to fit my moods lately (a skill I've been proud of for years), and Lord knows I don't want to stay in this area, and I make enough that I can save up some real funds now that my car's paid off. Hopefully it won't be long until I'm writing this from someplace better than here.
People claim it'll all work out. Let's hope so.
-Snoman
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| Monday, December 1st, 2008
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7:23 pm - A Cold And Wet November Dawn...
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I know these are stupid, but this one is too good to pass up.
Rules:
1. Put your mp3 player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 5 friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you stole it from.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Sublime - April 26, 1992
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Calabrese - Eyes Down
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Matchbook Romance - Monsters
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes - Hello
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
The Human Beinz - Nobody But Me (haha!)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Nelly Furtado - Maneater (??)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Jonathan Coulton - The Town Crotch
WHAT IS 2+2?
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Rage Against The Machine - Killing In The Name
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Only Crime - Take Me
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Johnny Cash - Unchained Melody
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Modest Mouse - Whenever You Breathe In, I Breathe Out
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hairspray - (You're) Timeless To Me
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Paraje - Animalaction
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
The Beatles - Blackbird
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Episode 18 of Retarded Policeman
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Paramore - All We Know
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Ashanti - Rock Wit U
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
The Bangles - Manic Monday
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Kim Jong Il - I'm So Ronery
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Nirvana - In Bloom
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Avenue Q - The Internet Is For Porn
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Truth - If You Smoke It Might Take Your Life, But If You Don't You Might Beat Your Wife
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
The Trews - You're So Sober
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Johnny cash - Rusty Cage
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Modest Mouse - Path Of Least Resistance
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Wicked - As Long As You're Mine
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Green Day - Give Me Novacaine
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Modjo - Lady
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Jonathan Coulton - Stroller Town
-jB
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| Sunday, September 7th, 2008
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12:11 am - I Wanna Know How Forever Feels
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Why on earth is it so scary? I've talked about love here before, but I think I always found things I had no chance of. However, all of a sudden I realized that I'm in the real thing, and I'm kind of...I don't know.
I know that this time she feels the same way, and I know for sure that I feel like I feel. I know that eventually it will work out, and I know I'm willing to do things I've never considered before, and I'm relatively sure she would as well. The hard part is that she's so far away...and yes, I mean a long way (Italy), and she can't be here a lot because she has her own things going on...she's in school in London, her family is in Italy, and really the only reason she has to come to America is me.
Imagine my elation when she visited me last week. Caught by surprise and surprisingly nervous, I spent a week in heaven until she had to leave again...luckily, in that one week I discovered not only that she's a much better person than I dated over a year ago, but that I'm actually still in love with her, which is odd for me. I also believe I've succeeded in getting her to fall back in love with me, as evidenced by her behaviour since going back to Europe.
I don't know where we'll end up, I don't know when, where, or how this is going to happen, but I know if it will it will. I'm scared, and I think it's because I've never had this kind of thing reciprocated before, but I'm not scared of the future.
I'm not scared that she doesn't feel the same way, I'm not scared of being with only one person for the rest of my life, I'm not even scared of the thought of moving to a foreign country to be with the one I love. I think the only thing I'm scared of is that it has to end someday. Even if I'm in my hundreds and so is she, it'll be before I'm ready to lose her.
So this is what it feels like. And I thought I knew.
-jB
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| Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
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9:05 am - The Next Freak Show, American Psycho...
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A little truncated this week, but hey that's what a blog is for, yeah?
Can prose be poetry? can language, in its everyday, slang-infested form, be as beautiful as Whitman? If it can, it cannot be done by just anyone.
I'm sometimes shocked by the ignorance of people I meet...beyond abysmal sentence structure and grammar, there seems to exist a general disinterest in vocabulary, lack of individuality of thought, and disrespect for the (apparently latent) beauty of the English language.
One such as myself, inherently blessed with a silver tongue, prides himself on the ability to convey thoughts and ideas through the fantastic medium of language. Am I, then, to become a part of the illustrious upper crust? Priorities have shifted due to advances in technology, and as a result the last American writer to have any sort of influence was a novelist who achieved fame only under a pseudonym anyway. This seems to make a case against my potential literary notoriety.
The unlikelihood of fame based on true skill, true anything, is a sad sign regarding the intellectual state of our nation. and increasingly that of the world. The power lies with the rich; the athletes, the addicts, the actors and the heiresses. The best-seller list is no longer the 'cool' place to be, and is regarded more as a political tool than a breeding ground for original ideas. The bastardization of modern society is, it seems to me, inevitable...if not nearing its completion.
Writing has become a curse, a sentence of obscurity, unless you write a book the questions the religious beliefs of a majority of the world's population.
Those of you who recognized my references to Mark Twain and Dan Brown offer hope against this dumbing-down of our world, and I hope we are able to persevere, protecting the notion of individuality in hopes that our posterity can one day carry the torch of brilliance.
-jB
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| Monday, March 24th, 2008
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11:28 am - I don't even feel like thinking of a title.
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"The last time I checked, the Constitution said 'of the people, by the people and for the people'. That's what the Declaration of Independence says."
I think Bill Clinton needs to read those documents again.
-jB
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| Sunday, March 23rd, 2008
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8:45 pm - As We Go Round Another Year...
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Once again, it's Zombie Jesus day, and I feel the need to continue my erstwhile tradition of posting my...erm, traditional Easter piece...feel free to enjoy, no matter how often you've done so before.
Amidst all the celebratory Easter gunfire and the ritualistic consumption by tiny children of outrageous amounts of sugar and other confections, I have noticed a disturbing image. While the religious implications of Easter are undeniable and profound, the main point for even some semi-religious people has become bunnies, eggs, and ducklings. This, however, should be deemed common knowledge, and as such will be discussed no further.
The point that I am making is much more chilling. I have discovered a hidden meaning to the Easter holiday.
The whole connection between Lent and Easter is mainly dietary, obviously...I mean, probably three quarters of people give up some kind of food for Lent. However, on Easter they eat heartily of all those naughty food-stuffs like chocolate and malt balls.
Which brings me to the main topic. For I have determined, after much study and deliberation (in other words, it hit me as I was sitting here performing this delicious yet despicable act myself), that Easter, apart from serving as an annual Christian milestone, is solely devoted to the promotion of rabbit eating.
Yes, you heard me right. While I have no qualms about shooting a rabbit in rabbit season and eating it, the look on those toddlers faces as they, in one fell swoop, take the head clear off of their 24-pound chocolate bunny is simply bone-chilling. Frankly, I can't believe I never noticed this before. It's as if the Pagan tradition of rabbits and the Catholic symbolism of the end of Lent have culminated in some sort of strange twilight zone in which rabbits are brutalized (out of season, I might add) by the very people that love beauty and innocence...much like they love their mommies.
I believe that I will be setting up a task force to find all of the surviving chocolate rabbits, and save them from this most horrible fate by setting them free in the wilderness, so we can kill them when they are legal.
I will be setting up this task force this week, with a sign up sheet in the cafeteria. Unlike most task forces, however, I only have room for about six people. We will collect as many chocolate rabbits that we can afford, and then film ourselves releasing them.
I might add that if they do not take to the wild easily, we will be sacrificing our dignity and eating them ourselves in the gentlest way possible, so as to protect them from the 'partial eating' torture so common among these pre-school killers.
With that, I leave you with no poem, because I am simply too tired to write one, but we can say that it's because I did such a good job on the preceding essay. Thank you.
-Chupes
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| Tuesday, March 18th, 2008
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7:58 am - Somethin's Wrong With The World Today...
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There is SO much going on right now in the world, it makes me happy to be smart enough to follow it all.
The issue that's less immediately important to me is the stock market debacle that's been plaguing our nation for the last 72 hours or so. Basically, a large firm went down billions of dollars in an incredibly short timespan, and due to other firms and banks being tied in financially with this one, a major crisis loomed on the immediate horizon until the Fed stepped in and backed a buyout of the firm in question valued at 30 billion dollars. Many worries from everybody as to what both the fall of the company and the Fed's involvement in the situation foreshadow have been voiced since the beginning of the week, but as far as I've heard, all parties agree that the Fed diverted a major hit to the economy. Props to them, barring a horrendous outcome that is being predicted by many Wall Street pundits in which the 30 billion dollars is repaid by the taxpayers and a repression still hits, only postponed by the Fed's intervention.
The other big-ticket item for the day is the case being heard by the Justices of the United States Supreme Court starting today. The Second Amendment, which has been discussed in this journal many times, backs the right of the people to keep and bear arms. The case entering the hallowed halls of the Supreme Court today argues that the Washington, DC ban on handguns is unconstitutional, and should not be allowed to stand.
This is a huge deal to all pro-gun activists, of which I am proud to be one. The reason that this case is so important is that, if ruled in our favour, it would cast a shadow on all other unconstitutional gun bans across the country, including the ones on owning automatic rifles, other handgun laws, and potentially laws instituting permits to carry handguns (which will also be abolished if we do our job properly, as they too inhibit individual rights provided by the Second Amendment to the Constitution.)
Go it the other way, however, the security of our nation will be severely hindered in the future. As I have stated many times, an armed citizen is much less likely to become the victim of a violent crime than an unarmed one. If the Supreme Court upholds the antequated and ridiculous idea that the Amendment provides this fundamental right to ONLY collective organizations such as a State National Guard, the prospect of an exponential rise in violent crimes, especially in our cities, will be much, much more pressing than it is even in today's sad state of affairs.
I believe the Court will find in our favour, as I truly believe that it is a fair Court (at the moment), that we are on the right side of the debate, and that justice prevails more often than not in the United States of America. I have gotten quite used to my freedom, and I hope that I will continue to keep my freedoms for years to come. The Second Amendment is the reason we have a country to begin with...if King George had succeeded in disarming American citizens the way he attempted to do, the Revolution would've been more of a flash in the pan, rioting quelled by heroic peace officers. History is written by the survivors, and without the right to keep and bear arms, we would all be enjoying the many freedoms of a monarchy ruled thousands of miles away with no real avenue of recourse and a singular government with total control.
Personally, I prefer what we have now to that dismal fate.
-jB
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| Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
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12:28 pm - Sometimes it's good to be a geek...
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So I've taken to watching Heroes. I have been meaning to watch this show for some time now, but haven't been able to find it online or had the foresight to download it when I still had some hard drive space. Now I have found it on the nets, and I might even download it because its so good and the links mostly don't work. I am hooked on this show.
This whole obsession started last weekend at Dilly's when I was the only one awake, and since the only way to bribe Steve is with episodes of a show he likes, I told him he should get into Heroes with me. Neither of us were a fan, but I think it's safe to say we both are now. The broken links mentioned previously forced us to only watch one episode in about 5 hours, but it was an amazing pilot, and now here I am on episode 3, because episode 2 didnt work and i got tired of trying over and over again.
I can't wait to get the DVD, if I can afford it, of season 1...it looks great so far. Then, I guess I'll start in on season 2. This IS a fantastic show...in case some of you haven't seen it.
I'm distracted. I just reloaded episode 3, and I'm getting close to the point where it froze up last time. Hopefully it'll load the whole thing now. I need to supervise it. I'll be back with some topic that matters soon enough.
-jB
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| Saturday, February 23rd, 2008
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5:51 pm - I Spent All Me Tin With the Girlies Drinkin Gin...
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Though I've been claiming randomly that something will end up in the movie I plan on eventually making, I've found that I have much more material than I in any way need for this film. As such, I've been considering lately what I actually would put in "my movie." There are a few shoe-ins, at least two of which came to me this weekend (and it's only Saturday), but other than these mainstays, I'm really at a loss for being able to cut any of them.
What would result from my current state as far as this movie is concerned would be an amalgam of random quotes and happenings from my life, and would most likely need to be presented in a very 'Robot Chicken' style.
Definitely Josh's burrito incident would make the Top 5, as well as an unfortunate remark made this weekend regarding Chinese people, and a couple of choice quotes from my friend Steve. However, apart from this, I have thought of some scenes I could have.
This film will happen, I'm sure of it. Dilly and I have recently adopted the motto "We Can Write It," which tells not only of our filmmaking prowess as a team, but also songwriting, screenwriting, letterwriting, notewriting, SUICIDEnotewriting, and any other kind of writing you can imagine us doing. Picture a young, bearded Abbott and Costello.
I will not be divulging the secrets of my film here, apart from what I've already revealed. You see, I've been spending my time either working or drinking, and as it's a Saturday night, and I haven't got work to go to, you can guess where I'll be. There's an attractive girl from Buffalo who's down for the weekend and would like to see me at Bobby's Place from 8 to 9...If you've had the patience to read this and will be able, I would very much like it if you dropped by.
Bobby's Place is in Endwell, by the way, just outside of Binghamton (you out-of-towners should know where that is).
I have a good weekend every weekend, but try to have one yourself this time as well.
-jB
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| Thursday, February 21st, 2008
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12:59 pm - I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer...
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I just watched the most delightful hour of programming on television; the amazing opera that is Jerry Springer. Today's theme was "Tranny Trouble" and I watched most anxiously as stereotype after stereotype were reinforced in my mind. I don't necessarily mean on the show itself, but rather the commercials. In an hour of commercials, these are the stats, as collected by myself, in descending order.
total commercials: 75
Law Offices with more than one last name:23
colleges (McCann, ITT Tech, etc,):21
Jerry Springer:16
JG Wentworth:11
NASCAR:3
Richard Simmons' "Sweatin To The Oldies" 20th Anniversary Edition:1
I will add that the last comes with Sweatin 2, and Richard's new film, "Love Yourself and Win", all for only 29.99
And to think, I almost missed out on that amazing offer.
-jB
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| Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
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11:28 am - That's My Kind Of Woman...
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So yeah, the last TWO titles have been from country songs. I think I've finally decided to stop fighting it and recognize the fact that I'm some sort of freak nerd/redneck hybrid. That's fine with me.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, as we all know, and I'd like to address the oldest sentiment known to me about this holiday, that it is simply a "ploy designed by greeting card companies to make us all feel miserable."
I'm one of those Charlie Brown types who always happens to be single on Valentine's Day. The two times I have been unavailable on this day of the year were last year, when we had a tremendous snowstorm and I was unable to see my girlfriend Margherita, and two years ago when I bought all kinds of shit and did the most romantic things I've ever done for the benefit of the girl who ended up emotionally crippling me. I haven't had the best track record.
That said, I'm not lonely or depressed this year. I know I'm single because I want to be, and I am, from now on, too smart to regret being alone on Valentine's Day, thus giving these demonic companies exactly what they want from me. Love isn't in the air, it's in the heart. No holiday will force me to behave any differently toward the opposite sex unless I am already with someone and feel it would be appropriate to do something special for them.
I'm single. I don't mind being single, and for me tomorrow is just a Thursday. I'm perfectly okay with that, in fact, I willed it to be so. I'm not ready for any kind of an actual commitment, I've no one who I feel in love with (at least on this continent) and I have no reason to feel sorry for myself being that way. What's more, I think I'm just one of the countless masses who feel this way.
Therefore, if you're one of us who despise the very idea of Valentine's Day when we're single, throw that mindset away and adopt this newer one; it's just another day. No need for self-pity, lack of self esteem, depression, frustration, anger...just let it go.
Happy Thursday, tomorrow.
-jB
current music: CRAIG MORGAN.
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| Monday, February 11th, 2008
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12:29 pm - The Redneck Yacht Club...
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After many continuous weekends of getting plastered, I don't think I fully realized the extent of my Pennsylvania pride until Friday night.
I have friends all over this area, and I usually have to choose between a house or barn in PA or a bar in NY. Since bars have karaoke, they often win out over my hangouts and haunts in my hometown, but I don't enjoy them as much. After all, beer is more expensive, I know less people, I have to drive, it has a closing time, I can't get any good ideas of how a girl is before going home with her, etc etc. Because of this, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Pennsylvania partying.
The best thing about it, however, is the unity with which we Pennsylvanians kick ass. Frankly, we're just better than you. I offer you an instance from incredibly recent history with an anecdotal reference of the happenings of Friday night at the house of a friend.
Our crew consists of between six and ten guys, depending on the weekend, and sometimes up to five girls that hang out with us too. Friday, it was Dustin, Steve, Carly, Ed, Justin, and some people I hadn't met before, and they were all cool, except this one dude named Kyle from New York.
He was very proud of where he came from, repeating multiple times how much more he could drink than us and telling us not to be offended, it was just a NY thing. He was challenging people, doing a mediocre job at pong and "almost winning" all of the games he played. The best, however, is yet to come.
At about eleven PM, he decided, or rather his stomach decided, that he'd had enough beer for now, and he proceeded to 'purge' the contents of his inner self onto the walls of the hallway. (now THAT'S what I call a gut reaction!)
So mister 'I can drink more than you' ended up losing it early on in the evening while the PA boys went on to finish off a total of 132 beers, with a pyramid of cans that would force the Egyptians to bow. Friday night for US ended after walking to McDonald's to be there when they opened at 6 AM, hanging out and eating, then walking back. All in all, it was about 8 in the morning before everyone was asleep.
The next day, we all got up at around 10 or 10:30, one at a time. The majestic pyramid was dismantled, the table removed from its temporary bedroom home, and the house restored to a state of relative order. Saturday I spent running around picking people up, buying beer, going to people's houses (and sliding down Dustin's hill completely out of control, but not as bad as Steven did), and hitting McDonald's not once, but twice in the meantime.
Saturday night, we got a hold of Dan, who said he'd come over to Jason's house with Laura, and it was Dusty, Steve, and I and more beer. Over to Jason's we go, but its a no-go, he's tired and may need to go back into NY for his girl to fucking have her baby already. We call everyone back and tell them it's at Steve's again, and we go to McDonald's for shamrock shakes, which are FINALLY back.
Dan calls, saying they just came across a truck on its roof and they have to wait for the ambulance to get there, and the roads are pretty shitty. We eat, then head out onto 29 to see if we can see this accident. As it turned out, we got stuck because of the accident for about 15 minutes waiting for a fire truck to get out of the way, then as we went through we saw the truck and the shattered telephone pole. a couple houses down the road, it seemed that there was smoke in the road and a house was lit weird.
I proclaimed "Haha! That house is on fire and all the firefighters are at the accident! Irony!" What I didn't know at the time was that the house really WAS on fire, and all the firefighters really WERE at the accident, so when we got into Hallstead, it was to the sound of their fire trucks and ambulances rushing out to the fire. Eerie.
So Dan, Laura, Glenn, one of the kids from Friday, Steve, Dustin, and I had some more pong action Saturday night, with me clearing a whole table with one ball. (I called shenanigans before any of the cups were made, threw it behind my back, it bounced off the table and Dan tried to grab it, knocking it into his cup and ending the game with 12 full cups) This, however, only perhaps matched the sweetness of Steven's shot from the night prior, where his ball landed in the hole between three cups, resting on the rims of said cups. Other team (JJ) went to grab it, and it fell in a cup, therefore killing the last three cups on the side and ending the game.
All in all, it was an awesome weekend, and if I had been in NY, it would've just been the same as it always is, singing the same songs in front of the same people, getting the same shit and the same compliments, paying for people's drinks and smokes, just generally a dull time.
Hence, I love PA.
-jB
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| Wednesday, February 6th, 2008
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8:04 am - Celebrate!
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I wrote this Sunday night after the game, but I really don't feel like actually publishing it, since it's a bit too revealing about my vulnerability in my adolescent years. Enjoy.
Sunday, February 3rd, 2008:
Tonight, we celebrate.
As I imagine how the newly crowned NFL Champion New York Giants feel right now, having completed what many would call the most inspiring Cinderella story in the history of the league, I revel in my own small brand of joy.
Of the eleven who started Super Bowl 42, in these white jerseys, of the eleven who were present when the Giants capped their defeat of the unbeatable team, one stands out in my mind as, without a doubt, my favourite player in the NFL. I'm not talking about the deserving MVP, Eli Manning, the unbelievable rookies, the defensive monsters that kept Brady on his back for four quarters, or even the media's new sweetheart Burress.
My favourite player is right guard Chris Snee.
This week has certainly seen plenty of coverage on Chris's small town roots, his son-in-law/father-in-law relationship with head coach Tom Coughlin, and his incredible modesty as the only NFL player ever to come out of his home county. These topics are newsworthy for many reasons, but my impetus for being a fan is much more personal.
In 2000, when Chris was making waves as a state-known football player and courting a number of Division 1 schools, I was in 8th grade, sitting in the third row and watching him lift his lineman frame to dunk a basketball over Valley View's amazed defense. I'd never seen such an athlete before, and as of now, I haven't sense.
During this time in my life, I was a prime target for bullies. I was really small, and a bit squeamish around people much bigger than I was, especially if I didn't know them. Oddly enough, if I happened to see Chris in the hall, I never got that pang of fear, that initial dread that told me to find a different route to class. Truth be told, it almost made me feel relieved. See, that's just the aura that Chris put off; that instead of messing with you, he was much more likely to be the one to stop someone else from doing it.
The next four years at Montrose High School were spent, for some of us, carefully following Chris's rise through the ranks on a collegiate level at Boston College. Any time I could, I watched him on television, and followed college football for the first time in my life. In my sophomore year, I had coach Lucenti for math and homeroom, and Chris seemed to be the most popular topic of conversation.
It was quickly apparent that he was NFL-bound, and when I was a senior in high school, he was picked up by the Giants and the whole town couldn't have been prouder.
Over the last four years, not much has changed in our community, but one thing has happened that astounds me completely. One man has turned a whole town into a united front and become a role model to an entire generation of students there.
A man who has been around me countless times, but probably doesn't know me. A man who I am proud to share an alma mater with. A man who, like myself and so many others, will always be a Meteor.
-Tyler Blackman
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| Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
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4:12 pm - And as we wander down the road...
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I saw something disturbing today.
I was made aware of a YouTube group calling itself "ANONYMOUS" who have been embarking on campaigns of fear and hatred (not to mention death and bomb threats) on the Internet's denizens.
Being open-minded, I decided to watch some of their videos to see exactly how they were doing things. I'm always happy to discuss the varied and many shortcomings of the "Church" or Scientology, so I chose a video posted by members of this group in an effort to contact the church. The following is a copy/paste of the text of that video, as well as a link to the video itself, for journalistic integrity.
"Hello, Scientology. We are Anonymous.
Over the years, we have been watching you. Your campaigns of misinformation; suppression of dissent; your litigious nature, all of these things have caught our eye. With the leakage of your latest propaganda video into mainstream circulation, the extent of your malign influence over those who trust you, who call you leader, has been made clear to us. Anonymous has therefore decided that your organization should be destroyed. For the good of your followers, for the good of mankind--for the laughs--we shall expel you from the Internet and systematically dismantle the Church of Scientology in its present form. We acknowledge you as a serious opponent, and we are prepared for a long, long campaign. You will not prevail forever against the angry masses of the body politic. Your methods, hypocrisy, and the artlessness of your organization have sounded its death knell.
You cannot hide; we are everywhere.
We cannot die; we are forever. We're getting bigger every day--and solely by the force of our ideas, malicious and hostile as they often are. If you want another name for your opponent, then call us Legion, for we are many.
Yet for all that we are not as monstrous as you are; still our methods are a parallel to your own. Doubtless you will use the Anon's actions as an example of the persecution you have so long warned your followers would come; this is acceptable. In fact, it is encouraged. We are your SPs.
Gradually as we merge our pulse with that of your "Church", the suppression of your followers will become increasingly difficult to maintain. Believers will wake, and see that salvation has no price. They will know that the stress, the frustration that they feel is not something that may be blamed upon Anonymous. No--they will see that it stems from a source far closer to each. Yes, we are SPs. But the sum of suppression we could ever muster is eclipsed by that of the RTC.
Knowledge is free.
We are Anonymous.
We are Legion.
We do not forgive.
WE DO NOT FORGET.
Expect us."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCbKv9yiLiQ
This propagandist garbage has the ring of a militant rebel wishing to gain support by appearing unstoppable, rather than by appealing to the populace. Throughout history, these movements fail, and since theirs has been started here, on the Internet, theirs surely will as well.
The dangers of Scientology are many, and are horrible. The proper way to go about destroying it is to show the general public just how ridiculous it is, not to threaten it with "destruction" like they have so clearly done.
Quite frankly, a group that feels itself to be invincible taking on Scientology is just a pot calling a kettle black.
The video calls attention to the fact that they are "cognizant of the many who decry our methods as parallel to that of the Church of Scientology...This is acceptable to ANONYMOUS, in fact, it is encouraged." Apparently, these people are okay with being identified as a parallel to the very administrations they oppose. I think this stretches the limits of the word hypocritical. Knowledge is free, and yet so rare in these types of cult organizations.
I really hope this group flounders as fast as it rightfully should. I believe that people who are a little more than ignorant will disregard this group as just another internet fad, something that we'll be talking about in a couple years as if it were just a shadow of a memory.
Knowledge is free. We are the public. We are humanity. We're smart enough to forgive. We're smart enough not to forget. Expect us.
-jB
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| Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
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7:37 am - Is There Anybody Out There?
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So I finally got everything moved back into my bedroom, at the prompting of my computer being confiscated until my completion of said deed. It irked me to be treated as such, but I was spending too much time slacking and procrastinating, and it gave me an impetus to get my ass in gear, which is what I suppose I needed in the long run.
I've been wondering less and less, and so haven't really posted that much. Honestly, dull factory work is an excellent motivator for spending one's free time as effectively as possible. As far as I'm concerned, that has meant drinking every chance I get, and sleeping odd hours (though that has something to do with the whole third shift thing).
My fears have been confirmed untrue, as they regard the slow degradation of my grammar and writing skills, and all the writing, be it impromptu or otherwise, that I've been doing has somewhat negated the theory that I was afraid was the reality of my situation. All in all, I feel at once lacking in topics to write about and brimming with things to say. It really is an undeniably backwards sensation.
I haven't had any really socially consequential issues on my mind as of late, and my political expertise at this point in time can be boiled down to "Vote for Ron Paul." I do, however, hope to venture back into that world, though it consumes as it does. After all, I still have some free time, seeing as how I have as of yet not been sucked into the World of Warcraft quagmire that so many have fallen victim to.
I miss college, in the incredibly narrow sense that I was able to study things, know things, and above all have pertinent conversations with professors and students who actually had some interesting ideas and opinions. As it stands now, every night is one big immaturity session, punctuated by everyone being impressed at my addition and spelling skills, as well as my vastly superior problem-solving skills...I'm not being egotistical, I'm just a guy with a 151 IQ working at a factory. It's not my fault they're mostly dullards.
I still play way too much KoL, depending on your definition of way too much. I log on every day and spend 9 hours a week DJing my GKOL radio show...plus all the other time I spend in chat without saying all that much. Luckily, that apparently keeps my mind just sharp enough to handle complex thought. A lot of the other people there are on an intellectual plane equal to or higher than my own, which is incredibly refreshing, and I believe plays a large part in my staying on there so long.
I miss the SA Cafe most of all...or rather, the old cafe. I've been back a few times since I left, but it isn't really the same place at all, and I feel like an outsider, which is odd. There are only a couple people left that I spent any time with while I was there, and a few cool new ones too, but it's mostly lost its appeal for me. If it were still Dilly, Gerg, Steve, Chris, Jack, Dan, Tyrone, Stephanie, Kaiser, even whats-her-name and whats-his-face, then I would definitely be more comfortable visiting.
On a lighter note, I heard an ex of mine (no, not that ex, everybody...a newer one) on the radio today talking to a psychic who told her that she would find someone new in February or March and that her fiance wasn't the one for her...YAHTZEE. That made me laugh. Bitterness is more fun when you're just annoyed and don't actually avoid talking about what happened like I do with the one that you're thinking of...it's more fun to deal with something I ended.
Now, I part with thee, throngs of adoring superfans. Have a good day, and I'll be back soon enough.
-Snoman
current mood:  tired
current music: Yakko's World
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| Monday, November 26th, 2007
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8:34 am - I've got another confession to make...
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I read a friend's poem (http://mikethebutcher.livejournal.com/13832.html), and I decided it needed to be followed up...this is what I came up with.
Bless me Father, for I have sinned
I know, it's been too long.
I've spent my winters licking crotch,
my summers removing thongs.
I have one more confession left
Just one to get me through
I have to admit, that not one time
have I ever nailed a Jew.
I've heard good things from time to time
but never have I found
that any of them wanted me
to grace their waxy mound
The college is just down the hill
The housing 'round the bend
I've heard those Jewish college girls
Like pork (in their rear end)
And so as my liaison
to my God who's up above
I ask the Lord to let me send
the message of Christian love
I'll be his missionary
and be good at that position
All because I really need to know
exactly what I'm missing
Hail Mary and Our Fathers, sir
will not bring forth His will
The feeling that will help me close
This hole which shall be filled.
And so I go, and as I do
I know I've seen the world
And I can cross off one more thing
When God gives me a Jewish girl.
-Snoman
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| Thursday, November 22nd, 2007
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12:04 pm - Everything I do...
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| Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
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10:52 am - You Witnessed Who?
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Hello all you people out there in byte-land. Today I will be writing a synopsis of a rather odd encounter I just had with one of the "Jehovah" types that live in my town. This will be relayed from my keyboard to my screen via diodes and magical fairy creatures inside my computer, then when I move the little arrow-shaped light to the appropriate button and click a very specific spot on my laptop, the spirits will come and take this message to be distributed about the universe on a one-by-one basis to whomever may want to read it. That's how the internet works, didn't anyone ever tell you that?
Anyway, I was upstairs trying to get to sleep this morning when I heard a knock on the door. Given that I am usually fully undressed, and anyone who would be knocking at my door has most likely seen me naked before, I looked out the window to make sure my mom's car wasn't in the driveway, then headed down.
When I got to the door, I was surprised to see an elderly gentleman in a suit and tie. Unfortunately, it would have been rude to walk back upstairs after he saw me come down, and since he looked like just the sort who would appreciate good manners, I unlocked and opened the door.
The man expediently said that he'd like to invite me to a "very special event" and handed me a flyer, all while trying to say goodbye and pull the door closed of his own accord. I thanked him and wished him a good day, since he was obviously in a rather large rush to tell all his other special strangers about the event that was important enough to go knocking on doors for.
I looked at the flyer and realized that he was, indeed, one of the fabled "Jehovah's Witnesses" that are often spoke of, but not oft seen outside of comic strips and the nudey bar. Then I started looking closer.
I am a man of God, I believe in the Resurrection of Christ, the forgiveness of sins, and all the rest of the Apostles' Creed, (as a matter of fact, when I saw the 'full-costume bible theatre' header, I prayed to God Almighty that it wasn't a representation of Sodom and Gammorah) but I still found it rather insulting and honestly perhaps even a bit blasphemous when I saw the big letters talking about "following THE Christ."
Of course, the word THE was not capitalized on the flyer, as I just changed the case of those three letters to instill a sense of accent, showing you which part of the title I personally found rather abhorrent.
I realize that Christ is a term and not a name, but I also believe that attaching such a dead article to someone such as Him is incredibly rude, almost as rude as knocking on a random front door at 11 AM on a Wednesday.
Am I alone in this view?
-jB
current mood:  awake
current music: Skype bloops.
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| Sunday, April 8th, 2007
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12:53 am - 5 years in a row!
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So this is Easter. Along with this holiday comes many things, not the least of which being the essay that I wrote in 2003 concerning the holiday and what it means. Originally wrote for some blog somewhere, and reposted two years on livejournal and once on myspace, this is year number 5 for my Easter essay, and it is a milestone.
This Easter comes on my 2 year anniversary of playing Kingdom of Loathing, which is awesome, and I should write in here about KoLCon some time. It also is the year of me moving, meaning that I have to travel for Easter, for the first time.
But you don't care about all that, so without further ado, in its unadulterated entirety, here it is; the essay to end all essays, the tradition to make you hate your life...the mind of myself coming to life in print.
Amidst all the celebratory Easter gunfire and the ritualistic consumption by tiny children of outrageous amounts of sugar and other confections, I have noticed a disturbing image. While the religious implications of Easter are undeniable and profound, the main point for even some semi-religious people has become bunnies, eggs, and ducklings. This, however, should be deemed common knowledge, and as such will be discussed no further.
The point that I am making is much more chilling. I have discovered a hidden meaning to the Easter holiday.
The whole connection between Lent and Easter is mainly dietary, obviously...I mean, probably three quarters of people give up some kind of food for Lent. However, on Easter they eat heartily of all those naughty food-stuffs like chocolate and malt balls.
Which brings me to the main topic. For I have determined, after much study and deliberation (in other words, it hit me as I was sitting here performing this delicious yet despicable act myself), that Easter, apart from serving as an annual Christian milestone, is solely devoted to the promotion of rabbit eating.
Yes, you heard me right. While I have no qualms about shooting a rabbit in rabbit season and eating it, the look on those toddlers faces as they, in one fell swoop, take the head clear off of their 24-pound chocolate bunny is simply bone-chilling. Frankly, I can't believe I never noticed this before. It's as if the Pagan tradition of rabbits and the Catholic symbolism of the end of Lent have culminated in some sort of strange twilight zone in which rabbits are brutalized (out of season, I might add) by the very people that love beauty and innocence...much like they love their mommies.
I believe that I will be setting up a task force to find all of the surviving chocolate rabbits, and save them from this most horrible fate by setting them free in the wilderness, so we can kill them when they are legal.
I will be setting up this task force this week, with a sign up sheet in the cafeteria. Unlike most task forces, however, I only have room for about six people. We will collect as many chocolate rabbits that we can afford, and then film ourselves releasing them.
I might add that if they do not take to the wild easily, we will be sacrificing our dignity and eating them ourselves in the gentlest way possible, so as to protect them from the 'partial eating' torture so common among these pre-school killers.
With that, I leave you with no poem, because I am simply too tired to write one, but we can say that it's because I did such a good job on the preceding essay. Thank you.
-Chupes
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